You can get blood out of a turnip

You can get blood out of a turnip!

Eventually there will be a photo here of a turnip with a Band-Aid on it.
There is a place in Northern Kentucky where Buttermilk Pike runs head into Huckleberry Hill at Dixie Highway. Some say it is the Bermuda Triangle of Southern. I was told that on a still night if you listen very carefully in that place, you can hear Mark Twain spit.
If you should hear that and you have a turnip with you, I am told that if you cut a hole it at that moment and stick a turkey baster in it, you can draw blood out of it.
I haven’t tried it myself, but that’s what I was told at that intersection by a man who looked old enough to have been Mark Twain himself. I have no reason to doubt him.